but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
