their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
