everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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