Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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