Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
