I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
