Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
