The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
my sisters under your porch take her home
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
