The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
