Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
