Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
