Are we in a gay sports bar?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
