My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
