Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
How's work?
Spinning.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
