There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't turn off my feet"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
