How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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