Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
