How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
