Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
