white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
