Will you blow on my dice?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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