do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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