How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
