im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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