just come out here and I will go home with you...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
