Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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