i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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