I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
And then my night got REAL pukey
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
