bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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