i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
