That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
