I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
