Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
