I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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