Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
