I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
