so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
