drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
