Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
