RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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