Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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