We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
