Is it normal to miss your booty call?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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