belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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