I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
