My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
