the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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