no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
