jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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