Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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