You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
