I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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