also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
