I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
